Imagine for a moment stepping into a world where your emotions and sense of self-worth are not just acknowledged but celebrated as the very core of who you are.
it’s a reality that is yours to embrace, especially in grief because it’s a deeply personal self-discovery that often begins and evolves in the shadow of loss. When we are most vulnerable, yet paradoxically, most in touch with the raw truth of our emotions.
Grief touches every aspect of our lives. Whether it’s a loss that happened recently or one that occurred years ago, its impact can linger in ways that are complex and often misunderstood. Society has a way of subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, telling us how we should grieve. There’s this unspoken pressure to “move on,” to follow a set timeline, and to present ourselves as “coping well.” But let’s be real: these expectations can feel like an added weight on our already burdened hearts.
And it’s too easy to seek validation from external sources. We might look to the people around us—family, friends, or even social norms—to guide us on how to process our grief. We might even measure our progress by comparing it to those infamous “Five Stages of Grief,” wondering why we don’t fit neatly into those categories. And when our experience doesn’t align with what others expect or what we’ve been told is “normal,” we might start to doubt ourselves. We might feel like we’re doing it wrong, or worse like there’s something wrong with us.
But here’s the thing: it’s not your fault. Grief is not a one-size-fits-all. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person’s journey is as unique as the love and connection that was shared with your loved one. The “Five Stages of Grief” can be more of a trap than a guide if we start believing that our emotions need to follow a prescribed path.
So, let’s talk about what it would mean to step away from these external influences. What if, instead of looking outward for approval or guidance, you started looking inward? What if your response to your emotions didn’t depend on anyone else’s opinion? This is where the journey begins—recognizing that your grief is your own, and your feelings are valid simply because they exist.
The first step in this journey is acceptance—not of the loss itself, but of your emotions. This means allowing yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment. It’s about giving yourself permission to grieve in all its messy, complicated ways. Whether you’re feeling anger, sadness, relief, or a mix of emotions that you can’t even name, they’re all valid. There’s no need to suppress them or rush through them to meet some external standard of how you should be handling your grief.
Beyond acceptance, there’s also the need for self-compassion. Often, when we’re grieving, we can be incredibly hard on ourselves. We might tell ourselves that we should be over it by now, or that we’re being too emotional, or that we need to be strong for others. But what if, instead of criticizing ourselves, we approached our emotions with gentleness? What if we treated ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend who is going through a difficult time?
When you embrace your emotions and trust your instincts, something incredible happens—you begin to rediscover your true value. It’s like peeling away the layers of an onion, slowly revealing the authentic essence of who you truly are. Grief has a way of stripping away the superficial and bringing us face-to-face with our deepest selves. It reconnects us with who we are at our core, beyond the roles we play or the expectations placed on us by others.
Self-acceptance is deeply intertwined with self-care. When you open yourself up to your own needs and make self-care a priority, you invite a deep sense of self-worth and acceptance into your life. Self-care in the context of grief isn’t just about pampering yourself or distracting yourself from the pain. It’s about nurturing your spirit, honouring your emotions, and giving yourself the space and time you need to heal.
Your grief is not something to be ashamed of, but something to be embraced as a natural part of your life. Grief is not just about loss; it’s also about learning to live with loss and finding a way to honour both your loved one and yourself.